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| SERMONS Sean Gilbert – 17/5/09 Given the strong emphasis in John’s Gospel on relational union or interconnectedness, it’s perhaps logical that the rich metaphor of friendship becomes a lens through which to contemplate just about all other images or metaphors employed by the writer. What’s surprising though, and this is borne out in the 13th chapter also, is that the content of such friendship is not simply feeling’s based. That is not to say that it doesn’t engage the affections. Heaven forbid! But, it needs to be verifiable (demonstrable) by virtue of unwavering service, enquiry and love given freely. “You are my friends,” states John’s Jesus, “if you do what I command you.” That commandment, being of course, “that you love one another as I have loved you.” In itself, a demanding, challenging, life enhancing path on which to travel together. So, what we encounter in this text, is by no means a broad brush stroke about the nature of friendship per se. That would be fascinating and I could well imagine myself waxing lyrical about such interesting, interweaving themes. By way of contrast, the metaphor of friendship used in John’s gospel is actually quite specific to worshipping Christian communities, just like our own. A uniquely Christian expression of friendship no less, which at its heart, is a prayerful intimacy of knowledge, or of attentiveness to the spirit and well being of each other: “Brother or sister, how goes it with you?” That’s the particularity of the friendship highlighted. It is potentially an exchange at the level of soul and spirit for the enrichment and life of all; those beyond the gathered community included. So in John 15:9-17 listen again for the challenge, albeit invitation to befriend others in the spirit of Christ and, in turn, to be befriended in the very same spirit of Christ. +++ Gregory the Great was a Pope of the early 7th Century and unlike many of his peers, he came to the office from a Monastic, not clerical background. He was canonized not long after his death and is almost universally acclaimed for his wisdom and grace. Indeed, John Calvin (one of our great Reformers) somewhat brazenly declared that Gregory was the last great Pope, writing about a thousand years after his death, I might add! Gregory summarized (Christian) friendship in this succinct way: “A friend is the guardian/custodian of one’s soul.” (custos animi) It has a rather odd ring to it, don’t you think, and I’d suggest that is because of its unmistakable spiritual dimension, not something we are entirely familiar or indeed comfortable with when it comes to experiencing friendship or a day to day basis. In Gregory’s case - a product of the monastic house, so to speak - this is simply how it was; Christian discipleship removed from community living and the common prayer (that which bound the whole together) made little or no sense at all. Friendship was in the spirit of Christ and if it be in Christ, it asked deeper questions than “who won the football?” or “how is the garden?” or “where are you planning to go on your next holiday?” These are not unimportant questions, mind you, but what Gregory had in mind was something like, “How goes it with it your soul?” “Where might God be leading you?” “What’s stirring in here?” “What keeps you awake at night or lifts you to places of real contentment and joy?” This is the quality of friendship celebrated and anticipated in John’s gospel; self disclosure and reciprocation based in the love, trust and growing knowledge of God’s grace. “…I have called you friends,” said Jesus, “because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.” Still, as we know, such a deep level of intimacy obviously doesn’t happen overnight or without some risk. With self disclosure always comes the possibility of misunderstanding or even at worst a betrayal of confidence; with reciprocation always comes the possibility of over investment or infringement. So, let’s not be shy about it, friendship can be difficult. Sandra Schneiders, the author who has given me much inspiration over these past three weeks, is particularly helpful on this point: Self revelation is always an invitation to another to enter intimately into one’s life, to participate in one’s selfhood. Wise people do not engage in indiscriminate self-revelation. They gradually reveal themselves as the other is judged trustworthy, discreet, appreciative, and ready to reciprocate with a responding revelation of her – himself. In other words, self-revelation is an invitation to a shared life. This shared life, when it reaches a critical depth, is what we call friendship…. Now because it is this vision of a shared life in Christ - the friendship of Christ - that underpins so much of the Christian experience, it seems such a waste when we don’t consciously and gradually practice it; when we skate over the surface of things, almost hoping the other won’t say anything too deep and meaningful so we don’t need to draw from our own wells or to express our own uncertainties and vulnerabilities. “Pseudo-Community” is how Scott M. Peck, the celebrated author describes this common ailment. There exists form, function and even practical service but very little human content or a joint encounter of spirit. I think one of the truly gratifying aspects of our own community, is that over the years we have learned that vulnerability is not weakness, nor does it have to remain private, almost locked up in shame. For more often than not, it makes needed human connections. In shared brokenness, something good is further broken open in our midst; a bond of unity, compassion and respect is forged, and simultaneously that unattainable goal of perfection is clearly seen to be the unnecessary tyrant that it is. We gladly discover that endless striving and pretence has nothing to do with spirit or soul, in any shape of form. In fact, it is its very antithesis. The writer Robert Bly says it so well and humorously in his poem, People Like Us: There are more like us. All over the world He was when they went to sleep. It’s To save the house. And the second-story man You can wander into the wrong classroom, Friendship, then, the abiding acceptance we experience in God, is both spiritual gift and an art to practice with due love and care. Whereby the safety and the trust of this community, allows and encourages us, not only to be the people we genuinely are, but to boldly express that without fear or favour. And we can do that, knowing that our own struggle with life is not all that different to anybody else’s. All of us wander onto paths of unknowing, even despair, all of us forget where God is at the time of our sleeping, if not waking! And that’s when we need spirited friends to understand, to repeatedly forgive, and to gently hold us up, reminding us that there is a future. To remind us, it is all right. It’s all right. And significantly for folk in my pastoral role, it also means being accessible and available to listen, to clarify thoughts and feelings, and to share some gleaned insight along the way. For some here, that may mean resourcing their minister in ways they haven’t before or been aware that they could even do, perhaps fearing a morality lecture. As a gracious priest once said to me after a heartfelt, if not melodramatic moment of confession, “Relax mate and join the club, we’re all in this human thing together! The important thing is where you now go from here.” It occurs to me that the practice of such prayerful, soulful friendship, creates many outgoing, creative ripples in the pond. It makes the faith community alive to extraordinary, mutual respect and a depth of acceptance and welcome that is irresistible. But like all good and worthwhile things, it does need to be practiced, if not risked, over and over again; a self giving born of God’s acceptance and grace, attentiveness to others born in that same love and offered in radical freedom and care. Let us take a few moments for our own reflections…… | |||||||||||||